Instant messaging has become the bane of many parents' existences, consuming hours at a stretch of kids time -- from productively sharing notes about homework to more often keeping a constant banter of conversation that can interfere with homework and leave kids starting in their tween years glued to the computer screen. Moreover, cliques have worked their way into this IM world -- where kids will block another's messages, to the devastation of the child who has been excluded -- an outright rejection they often struggle to fathom.
For these same kids, who of course in addition to their IM screen names have email accounts -- email has taken the place of long-distance phone calls, and everyone from camp friends to schoolmates have emails zinging around. They pass along junk mail, jokes, digitial photos. And the advances in technology in this area are daunting to parents -- just recently my daughter emailed me a picture of herself and a friend having taken a photo with the friends phone?! Who knew??
Just last week my 10-year-old, with a sigh, gave me this debriefing on instant messaging talk (which reads like Greek as you peer over your child's shoulders to ascertain what's going on their computer, and as I get cryptic IM messages from her):
jk = just kidding!
brb = be right back
ttyl = talk to you later
u = you
gg=Gotta go
btw = by the way
She told me to get my answers short, brief -- "that's just how it's done Mom!" and gave up on me to get back to her friends!
And it's profoundly unclear just what impact all this will have on social development -- except to create virtual social interactions from the isolation of one's home.
Even more shocking is the number of parents who ABSOLUTELY feel it is the right thing to do to read over their child's IM messages when she/he's out of the house (this is the new version of reading your child's diary) -- it
raises such complex issues, and it would be great to address this aspect in your article.
One piece advice to all parents--keep the computer your child uses in a "public space" in your house so you can monitor how much time your child is
spending on-line and occasionally check in.
Home is where the heart is for nationally acclaimed Mom expert Stacy DeBroff. As a best-selling author, sought after speaker, television personality, and corporate spokesperson, Stacy simplifies life for busy Moms across the country by sharing her home, organizational, and parenting expertise. View more of Stacy's articles at www.momcentral.com
